Social media is abuzz today about Robbie Tripp, a man who posted about loving his wife's curves on Instagram and suddenly attracted a bizarre amount of attention for doing so. In an act bolder than posting a no-makeup selfie, Tripp captioned a photo earlier this week of his wife and himself on a beach. He accompanied the picture with a long caption describing his experience being bullied for liking "girls on the thicker side," then proceeds to high-five himself for finding his life partner attractive while instructing other men on which women they should (or should not) find attractive, too.
The post quickly picked up steam, garnering over 23,000 likes and high praise from large publications. The only problem: it's a non-story that is virtually meaningless from any positive angle, and the internet quickly took notice. But first, let's meet Robbie Tripp.
You May Also Like
WellnessBody Shamers Are Attacking Mariah Carey Over This Instagram
WellnessHow Long the Average Couple Dates Before Moving In and Getting Engaged and Married
All hail the purported purveyor of body positivity:
His Instagram caption begins, "I love this woman and her curvy body. As a teenager, I was often teased by my friends for my attraction to girls on the thicker side, ones who were shorter and curvier, girls that the average (basic) bro might refer to as 'chubby' or even 'fat.'" OK, so we've established that the initial victim in the story is him. Moving on.
He continues, "[My wife's] shape and size won't be the one featured on the cover of Cosmopolitan but it's the one featured in my life and in my heart." I'll ignore how cliche that last line is because I, for one, adore silly romantic cliches. And his wife, Sarah Tripp, seems perfectly lovely! I do not, however, love when men all but congratulate themselves for their preferences in women. "There's nothing sexier to me than a woman who is both curvy and confident," he writes, blissfully unaware that he is still telling women how to look and feel.
"Guys, rethink what society has told you that you should desire," he commands. "A real woman is not a porn star or a bikini mannequin or a movie character. She's real." Weird — last I checked, porn stars are real human beings, and comparing them to literal mannequins or fictional characters is actually really, really offensive! Mr. Tripp, it's time to rethink what society has told you about female sexuality and autonomy.
And now, a message for the lay-dies: "Girls, don't ever fool yourself by thinking you have to fit a certain mold to be loved and appreciated. There is a guy out there who is going to celebrate you for exactly who you are, someone who will love you like I love my Sarah." Aside from the heteronormativity here and the assumption that all women are attempting to find a committed relationship in general, this simply oozes with the sentiment that he is the perfect partner, that he is everyone's Dream Guy.
Twitter was understandably skeptical of Tripp's curve odyssey:
https://twitter.com/jaypugz/status/893236289348272128
https://twitter.com/evepeyser/status/893326449972793344
https://twitter.com/amandamull/status/893429911054102532
It's no secret that plus-size women and femmes, particularly those who do not conform to plus-size model proportions and sizes (which can start as low as a size six), often experience bullying, body-shaming, and harassment both online and off. But it's equally shitty to preserve our culture's horrible belief that you could only love a fat person for their "inner beauty" (see: Shallow Hal) unless you're a rebellious, altruistic rule-breaker. And that's exactly why we should stop sensationalizing the act of dating someone who's not a straight-size model.
As someone who's ranged in sizes and been overweight, I will (anecdotally) muse that the "compliments" become increasingly patronizing at larger sizes. "You have such a pretty face," a family member might lament in a tone halfway between resigned and complimentary. A well-intentioned yet frustratingly oblivious friend might quip, "You're lucky you have curves — they're so trendy right now!" Well, no. Models with a specific hip-to-waist-to-bust ratio are who you're referring to, and this does not mean our society is suddenly, universally respectful towards fat people. (For anyone skeptical of that word, please know that I use it as a neutral adjective and never a pejorative and that using the term "curvy" as a substitute is substantially more harmful.) And then, there are the self-congratulatory men.
On dates, straight men who genuinely believe they are making the world a better place by dating a human being above a size eight have said things to me such as, "I like a girl with meat on her bones" or, less originally, "real women have curves," then proceed to body-shame thin women as a rule, which is actually a pretty goddamn unattractive — not to mention unproductive — thing to do.
My personal favorite "Curve Lover" line: "Don't worry, you don't have to eat salad around me," as though I am only pretending to like kale because Kevin the PR Executive is sitting across the table — as though all attitudes surrounding bodies and all decisions about food are secretly about him rather than the owner of the body or the consumer of said food. Sorry, Kevin, but you're just making me really self-conscious about what I'm eating, which is a whole other problematic ballgame.
At the end of the day, people like Robbie Tripp are generally innocuous, but he nevertheless perpetuates the overarching attitude that it is somehow abnormal or unacceptable to be attracted to a fat person. What bothers me is not Tripp's fondness for his wife's body, but the way he pats himself on the back in the most public possible way — and that others are actually following suit. It's neither revolutionary nor saintly to find fat women attractive, folks, and pretending otherwise is doing way more harm than good.
More stories about mediocre men:
Watch:
Follow Sam on Instagram and Twitter.
0 Response to "Area Man Thinks He's Brave Because He Finds His Curvy Wife Hot"
Post a Comment